Tears
by fuuchouin kadzuki
Summary: YasuakixEisen. Eisen feels that he can't hold his feeling any longer, but will Yasuaki accept it?


Title :Tears

Fandom :Harukanaru Toki no Naka de

Pairing :YasuakixEisen

Rating :PG-13/T

Disclaimer : Toei owns them...not me... TT

It's strange for Eisen to be surrounded by so many people. It's been like this since he became one of the hachiyou. There is Akane, the miko whom he should protect. When he saw her for the first time, he felt something different. He thought that it was love, but now… he realized that it wasn't. Akane already had Tenma by her side, while he's just one of her protectors.

He felt that strange feeling again when Yasuaki-dono protected him from the spirit of the cursed koto. He felt that his cheeks were on fire and he knew that he was blushing when he said thank you. Yasuaki is a mysterious person, he doesn't talk much, and he usually cold to other people. That's why; sometimes he's a bit afraid of Yasuaki.

He usually stays up late and gazes at the moonlight. He misses his life in the temple…misses the calm serenity in there, away from the problems. Now, how can he explain his feelings toward Yasuaki, he knows that this is only a one sided feeling on his part. Yasuaki always cold towards him…he never shows any interest in him.

'Well…' he thought, 'I'm not worthy of his attention…I'm useless…he's always protecting me every time we go against the demon.'

He sighed and looked sadly through the window. The moonlight touched his skin, making it paler than usual. He's a beautiful man, he has long, purple hair and his slender body makes him even more stunning.

He took out his flute and played a song, breaking the silence that had enveloped him this time. The song was played in a soft tune, he was afraid that he'd awaken people. It's past midnight but he still cannot sleep…Too many things plagued his mind.

He was startled when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He spun around and found that Yasuaki was staring at him

"What are you doing? Something wrong?"

"Ya-yasuaki-dono! N-no…I just…cannot sleep…that's all… Miko is safe right now."

Eisen's chest hurt when he mentioned miko. He kinda had a feeling that feeling that Yasuaki felt something more towards miko. He often looks at miko with a gentle gaze…but not to anyone else. He knew that the one he was concerned about is miko, not him. He's just a tool for Akane, the same as him.

"I asked about you, not about miko."

"Oh…sorry."

Eisen lowered his head, hid his embarrassment from Yasuaki. He was shocked when he heard that Yasuaki was worried about him.

'But…maybe he's just taking a pity on me' he thought.

Yasuaki was staring at him like before, which made Eisen even more uncomfortable. He showed no emotions on his face, it was totally blank. Eisen was never good at reading his emotions, because Yasuaki was such an emotionless person.

Even so…he still had feelings for him. He knows that he couldn't go back to the temple again, as long as he still had feelings for him. Still…he refused to banish his feelings. He could be stubborn if he wanted to. He felt that some part of him would be lost if he returned to the temple. For now, he is a hachiyou, his job is to protect miko with his life. The situation is uncomfortable for him now.

"Ya-Yasuaki-dono, why are you still awake?"

"Betsuni."

'Eisen you idiot!' he blamed himself for this awkward situation. How could he have asked such a lame question like that? His face went redder than before; he is the shy type for heaven's sake! He has never good at socializing with people. He only knows a few people in the palace…and it's not like he had never heard about the gossip around him. He knew that he was running away from his problems…but what can he say, he is a coward, he is too afraid to face reality.

Maybe he was too absorbed in his own thought because he hadn't realized that he had dropped his flute. Yasuaki watched it fall then he picked it up and give it to Eisen.

"Here…you dropped this."

"Arigatougozaimasu!"

Eisen answered him very quickly, but it seemed that Yasuaki could catch every word he said.

Eisen hastily put the flute up his sleeve, but he did it too quickly so he dropped it again. Yasuaki sighed and picked it up once more. When he did that, his hair brushed Eisen's hand accidentally.

'So soft…' Eisen thought.

Yasuaki got up and now, he stood really close to him, making Eisen nervous. He was not used to someone standing really close to him.

"You dropped it again"

"Gomen…"

"Why are you apologizing?"

"For bothering you. I know I'm useless; I have always been a bother to you. When we travel together you always protect me. I'm not worthy of being your partner."

He suddenly realized what he had done. Actually, he hadn't meant to say any of that…but it all came spewing from his mouth. All of it… He gasped and covered his mouth. He was about to run to his room in order to avoid Yasuaki, but Yasuaki grabbed his wrist and held it tight.

"Let go!"

"You're not useless…you were chosen to be a hachiyou…you have the power too." He said matter-of-factly.

Maybe he was cold, but he still respected the others, even if he didn't show it clearly. He knows that Eisen had a strong energy, his prayers are a great weapon, he just doesn't realize it. He always thinks badly of himself…he lacks confidence.

"No…I always run away from my problems… I entered the temple to run from the problem in the palace."

"You're not running away. Listen to me."

Eisen was stunned. Yasuaki's tone is not something he can argue with. It's more like an order. He turned and faced Yasuaki, but he didn't dare to look at him. He's afraid to see Yasuaki's expression right now. He sounded like he was pissed with him.

"If you're chosen, then you have the talent to protect miko. We trust you, as a partner. We believe in you. You're one of us. And back then, you also helped me with the kekkai."

Eisen's cheeks started to redden again. He never expected to hear that from him. From the man he adores so much… Somehow, he is grateful that he is a hachiyou right now. He muttered a thank you, but still he didn't dare to face Yasuaki. He's not sure anymore if he can hold back his feelings, and if that happens, he is afraid that he can't stay with him anymore.

"What is it?" Yasuaki asked suddenly.

"W-what what?"

"I know you're thinking about something."

"N-no…it's nothing."

"Don't lie. I know it's concerning me."

The omyouji said that and stepped closer to him, until Eisen could feel his heat. Eisen still refused to look at him, but he knew that Yasuaki was staring at him, waiting for his answer. Eisen sighed in defeat after a moment of thinking. He gave up. He'll need all his courage to tell that to Yasuaki…maybe… That's if he is strong enough to speak. He feel that he may pass out anytime soon if this situation continues.

"I-I…" he gulped "IthinkIhavefalleninlovewithyoubutIknowthatyoulikemikosoyoucanjustforgetaboutthis."

"…"

Eisen blurted this out so quickly that even Yasuaki couldn't catch up with his words. His face remained expressionless but when Eisen made a move to run, he grabbed his hand and wouldn't let it go.

"You…love me?"

Eisen just barely nodded.

"Well, I don't know what love is. I care for miko. I want to protect her because I am a hachiyou. It's my duty to protect her, but I also care about you. You make me want to protect you all the time and I don't like to see you hurt. But I myself don't quite understand the concept of love."

"I see…I'm really sorry for troubling you with this."

"I don't mind. I am sorry too because I can't respond to your feelings properly. I really don't know about this kind of matter."

"It's okay… I know it'd be impossible from the beginning." Eisen smiled sadly.

He realized that Yasuaki was different from the others… And also, he knew that it was hopeless. Yasuaki never showed any kind of emotion to anyone. As a matter of fact, Eisen was in the edge. He nearly broke down in tears. He was hurting so much. He hadn't known that it could hurt so much, like being stabbed by a razor sharp knife.

He was shocked when he looked up and saw that Yasuaki was crying, but still his expression didn't change. What had happened actually? Why was he crying? Was it because of him? Eisen blamed himself. Suddenly, a soft hand touched his cheek and brushed it gently.

"Stop crying."

Then Yasuaki hugged him and softly caressed his hair to try and give him comfort.

"I didn't know why, but when I saw you cry…"

He stopped, didn't know how to tell Eisen exactly what he was feeling. He never understood his own feelings, they made him confused.

"I don't understand. You made me cry. It's the same when I saw miko crying."

"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…"

"Ssh…it's okay."

Yasuaki held him still, didn't even bother to let him go. With a soft voice, Yasuaki spoke to him,

"Eisen, I want to protect you. You are an important person to me. I promise, after our job is done, I'll stay by your side always."

"…arigatou…"

Eisen looked at Yasuaki again and leaned forward to kiss him. He didn't know why he dared to do that, he had never kissed anyone before. Yasuaki was his first, and maybe it was the same for him. Eisen smiled shyly and Yasuaki just held him tighter, and for the first time, Eisen saw Yasuaki smile. He knew that he'd face great dangers ahead, bur he also knew that Yasuaki would always stay beside him and keeps him safe.

End

A/N: hope Yasuaki isn't to OOC as well as Eisen, first fic for harutoki.


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